Monday, August 31, 2009

The Smallest Gifts

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift, that is why we call it the "present"

It is 65 degrees outside today, sunny, cool and just plain amazing. I ran 6 miles this morning and I am convinced I could have run a full marathon. It was the best run that I have had in over 2 years and I feel great! As I was running, I thought about what an incredible gift it is that God gave me this day to enjoy. I thanked God for my health, and for blessing me with this spectacular day. That is when this weeks inspiration came to me...the smallest gifts. Gifts come in all shapes and sizes. A gift does not have to be a physical item that you receive. It can be a hug, an unexpected phone call or in my case today, the warmth of the sun and the refreshing breeze that moved me to run!

I could not help but think about all of the gifts that I have received because of Alex. Each week I talk about the fact that I feel like I have been given an opportunity to really enjoy and live my life again, and each day I am reminded that Alex gave me the strength to look at my life and take advantage of all those opportunities. I don't know what tomorrow will bring and thus I am learning to live each day to it's fullest potential. Yesterday, I took Elena to an art class at Gymboree and she got to make a painted landscape (a masterpiece!!) and a sailboat. Something as simple as painting and drawing was the highlight of my day. Elena is the greatest gift that God has given me and every day I discover more gifts that she continues to give.

One such gift that Alex gave to Efrain and I was the Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep organization. Our photographer, Julia Pearson, was an angel that came to us and I only hope that she knows how important it is for us to have the memories of Alex. I look at all the pictures on a daily basis and I smile at the memory of feeling Alex inside me. One of the quotes on the NILMDTS website reads, "No footprint is too small that is can not make an imprint on your soul" That quote is so powerful and could not be more accurate. From the moment we know that Alex was growing inside me, he changed our lives. Efrain and I started to plan for our family, making room in our home, talking to Elena about her new baby brother or sister and giving my belly kisses so that Alex would know from day one how much we loved him. Once we know Alex's fate, our dreams changed but not our love. We still continue to make plans for our family, we still talk to Elena about her baby brother and we still kiss my belly, only now we kiss the pictures of my belly. Alex is with us forever and Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep gave us the gift of eternal memories.

Each day now I look forward to the gifts that I will receive. I have already been given the gift of a great run today, but there could be more to come. Large or small, each gift makes me grateful to be alive and gives me hope that Alex is looking down upon me and I can't help but believe that he is responsible for the gifts that I am given. I love you Alex, thank you!

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